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You’ve passed the third billboard in a row. Each one is the same, depicting an expectant mother and a number to call for support. “Unexpected pregnancy?” the billboards read. “Call this number for help.” Where is the unplanned pregnancy support for fathers?

Communities rally around pregnant women, offering support in droves. It’s a necessary aid for those who are preparing to welcome a new life into the world. But one half of the equation is missing. Where is the support for all of the fathers?

What Dads Need to Know

In a study performed by LifeWay research, expecting fathers were found to be the most influential factor in the decision to keep the baby. “The study reveals men with pregnant partners play a significant role in the decision to have an abortion but may not be aware of how much influence they have.” (1). 

Men often say that keeping the baby is the woman’s decision. It’s their body; they are the ones who have to go through the pregnancy. They extract themselves from the decision-making process, telling their partners to do what they want. 

This impassive route takes the expecting dad’s opportunity for support completely out of the equation. “‘Many abortions occur because men are urging their partner to terminate the pregnancy,’ said Scott McConnell, executive director of Lifeway Research. ‘However, around 3 in 10 men give their partners no advice even in situations where she discusses the decision with him.’” (1). 

Your opinion matters. You have a say in the future of your child. Without you, there would be no baby. Taking your opinion out of the matter means taking away your support. And support is something your partner needs now more than ever.

What New Dads Should Expect

When you bring home a baby, your life changes. It’s inevitable. In the beginning, fatherhood will not feel entirely pleasant. A demanding infant is going to live in your home for the next few months, causing extreme exhaustion.

“Right now you are in the period where you realize what you have lost, but have not yet realized what you have gained.” (2)

This sounds disruptive. However, by educating yourself, you will be prepared for what your life will look like in those first few weeks. Education is the most important preparation you can make as you become a first time father.

Here are a few things you can expect.

1. Changing emotions

Postpartum depression is a very real thing, and it can affect the new father as well as the mother. In the moments after you bring your baby home, your emotions will likely be all over the place. If you experience extreme depression in the weeks that follow your child’s birth, you could have postpartum depression (PPD). PPD can also present itself in a loss of interest in activities, weight loss, or fatigue. (3) 

You should also be aware of your partner’s changing emotions. Her hormones will be swinging, and it’s important that you stay calm, attentive, and supportive. Your family will need you to be their bedrock in this particularly trying time.

2. Your changing demands

Your day-to-day tasks will need to change a bit, especially as your partner recovers. Helping around the house and with the baby are actions that will speak volumes. In the moments when things feel difficult, the simple act of washing the dishes makes an unbelievable difference. Ask your partner what she needs from you, and watch as her eyes widen with thanks. This is one way a first-time dad can support their family.

3. Finding a balance

Your job is important, and so is your family. As tempting as it may seem to spend your day sheltering from the screams of the infant, you must find the balance. Spending time at your job and for yourself is important, but your partner and child need the new dad around as well. 

Though life will be different in many ways, this definitely does not mean it will be worse. Your priorities will shift and your life will become more fulfilling than ever before.

Unplanned Pregnancy Support for Fathers

You do not have to make these changes alone. 

It’s in the most difficult moments that you will have to remember the best parts of calling yourself a father. Life as a newborn dad is not one for the faint of heart. Sometimes you simply can’t summon the energy by yourself. That’s where your support system comes in. 

“A family support network can help you and your partner feel like you have practical and emotional ‘back-up’ as new parents – especially if you’re planning to go back to paid work soon after baby is born.” (4)

This support system can include your friends, a faith-based network, or early childhood educators. The most important thing is that you find people you can reach out to in moments you feel overwhelmed or lost. Fathers’ support groups do exist, and your local pregnancy resource center can help you find one.

Pregnancy Resource Centers make a great resource for new and expecting fathers. Through your local PRC, you can find support groups and parenting courses. They also have budgeting classes, and all kinds of other fatherhood resources. With these centers’ pregnancy and fatherhood solutions, your confidence will increase. This will help you feel more comfortable when your baby arrives. 

You have changes to make, but you do not have to make them alone. As you experience this major life shift, there is an entire support network waiting to help you. You’ll find that these changes will enhance your life in ways you’ve never realized they could.

In the midst of the mountain of dirty diapers, you will have a little person who is going to depend on you like no one ever has before. There will be a child who will run to you, arms wide open, yelling “Daddy!” as you enter the room. You will get to experience their enormous milestones, and cheer them on all the way.  A connection between a newborn and dad is a connection unlike any other, and it will pave the way to the rest of your life. 

But it’s difficult to remember all of that when your cup of coffee has gone cold and you can’t remember what it felt like to sleep through the entire night. So lean on your support system. Take deep breaths. Be there for your partner. Locate a pregnancy resource center nearby. Give your baby a kiss. And don’t blink because it’s all going to go by too quickly.

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Resources

1. Earls, Aaron. (2022, Jan 21). Men Play Significant Role in Decisions Surrounding Unplanned Pregnancies. LifeWay Research. https://research.lifeway.com/2022/01/21/men-play-significant-role-in-decisions-surrounding-unplanned-pregnancies/
   
2. Digitaljestin. (2022, July 15). Yes, your life has changed. Right now you are in the period where you realize what you have lost,– [Reddit blog post]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/vza1ua/new_dad_with_anxiety_over_loss_of_previous/
   
3. Scarff, Jonathan R. (2019, May 1). Postpartum Depression in Men. Innov Clin Neurosci, (16)5-6. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6659987/
   
4. RaisingChildren.net (2019, Oct 29). Men: Planning Your Family Support Network. RaisingChildren.net.au. https://raisingchildren.net.au/pregnancy/pregnancy-for-partners/late-pregnancy/men-family-support

At Whittier Pregnancy Center, we know it’s your life that will be impacted by the decision you make about your pregnancy. So, before you pay someone to perform an abortion, it is your right to know all of your options and have all of the information you need to make an educated, and safe, decision. While for-profit clinics and hospitals are often driven more by money than concern for the patient, we exist solely because we care about you, without making a profit.

Our knowledgeable, compassionate staff are committed to thoroughly and honestly sharing the information you need to make an informed decision, including answering these three critical questions before scheduling an abortion.

Do You Have an Ectopic Pregnancy?

How Far Along Are You?

The gestational age of the fetus, or number of weeks since conception, is a key factor in determining the type of abortion you will receive, as well as its cost. Even though many women have a general idea of the date of their last period, the exact time the pregnancy began is an estimation. An ultrasound is the only way to definitively identify the true age and size of the fetus. In fact, without it, you could be offered the wrong type of abortion. A chemical abortion (the abortion pill), for example, could be recommended when you are actually past the 10-week window for that procedure’s safety or effectiveness. For this reason, a tele-medicine consultation is insufficient, as it cannot provide proof of pregnancy, proof of gestational age, or proof of a viable pregnancy, potentially putting you at risk. At Whittier Pregnancy Center, we personally provide all of this information at no cost to you.

Do You Have an STI?

You may wonder what having an STD has to do with getting an abortion, but it is extremely important. If you have an STD, especially one of the two most common, chlamydia or gonorrhea, and aren’t treated before having an abortion, your risk of developing Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) increases by 23% if the cervical infection is forced up into the uterus during the medical procedure²⁵. PID increases your chances of having a future ectopic pregnancy, can decrease fertility, and can cause life-long pelvic inflammation and pain²⁶. Testing is especially important because these STDs can be present without any symptoms. Other STDs, such as cervical syphilis²⁷, HIV/AIDS²⁸, and Human PapillomaVirus (HPV)²⁹, also need to be tested for early in pregnancy, regardless of your pregnancy intentions, as they can pose significant risks to your health.

The majority of abortion facilities do not test for STDs prior to performing an abortion procedure. If they do, they charge an additional fee. At Whittier Pregnancy Center, we can confidentially have you tested and treated for these STDs at no charge. Results of STD testing are usually available within one week.

Get a Referral for Your Pre-abortion Screening

At Whittier Pregnancy Center, we are here to give you the answers to these three critical questions before undergoing an abortion. Our no-cost pre-abortion screening referrals include a pregnancy test, an ultrasound and STD testing all performed by a licensed medical professional. Call us at 562-693-8803 or schedule your appointment today – so we can provide you with the refer.

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References

1. Clement EG, Horvath S, Mcallister A, Koelper NC, Sammel MD, Schreiber CA. The language of first-trimester nonviable pregnancy: Patient-reported preferences and clarity. Obstet Gynecol.2019;133(1):149-154. doi:10.1097/AOG.0000000000002997
2. (2021, June 15). A Determined Look into Non-Viable Pregnancy: Heartbreak and The Way Forward | Mommy Labor Nurse. Mommy Labor Nurse | Educating Expecting Parents About What’s To Come! https://mommylabornurse.com/non-viable-pregnancy/
3. Miscarriage – Symptoms and causes. (2019, July 16). Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pregnancy-loss-miscarriage/symptoms-causes/syc-20354298
4. How a D&E Differs From a D&C. (2020, November 8). Verywell Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/what-is-dilation-and-evacuation-d-e-for-miscarriage-2371460
5. Hillson, B. B. J. H. M. (2014, July 1). Diagnosis and Management of Ectopic Pregnancy. American Family Physician. https://www.aafp.org/afp/2014/0701/p34.html
6. Ectopic pregnancy – Diagnosis and treatment – Mayo Clinic. (2020, December 18). Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ectopic-pregnancy/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20372093
7. Blighted Ovum: A Non-Viable Pregnancy With No Obvious Symptoms. (2020, March 25). Verywell Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/understanding-blighted-ovum-2371492
8. How Are the Symptoms of a Molar Pregnancy Treated? (2020, October 25). Verywell Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/molar-pregnancy-causes-symptoms-and-treatment-2371405
9. Symptoms & Treatment For Molar Pregnancy Cancer. (2020). Www.Pregnancy-Baby-Care.Com. http://www.pregnancy-baby-care.com/molar-pregnancy/molar-pregnancy-cancer.html
10. Feature Editor. (2019, August 28). Molar Pregnancy – What is it and Why Does it Happen?Com. https://pregged.com/molar-pregnancy/
11. Abortion Pills – First Trimester Medical Abortion. (Accessed October 2021). abortionprocedures.com. https://www.abortionprocedures.com/abortion-pill/#1465365763472-92a2fc8d-9104.
12. Center for Drug Evaluation and Research. (2021, April 13). Questions and Answers on Mifeprex. U.S. Food and Drug Administration. https://www.fda.gov/drugs/postmarket-drug-safety-information-patients-and-providers/questions-and-answers-mifeprex
13. Incidence of Emergency Department Visits and Complications. . . : Obstetrics & Gynecology. (2015). LWW. https://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/Fulltext/2015/01000/Incidence_of_Emergency_Department_Visits_and.29.aspx
14. Niinimäki, M. (2009). Immediate complications after medical compared with surgical termination of pregnancy. PubMed. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19888037/
15. Elective abortion: Does it affect subsequent pregnancies? (2020, September 19). Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/expert-answers/abortion/faq-20058551?reDate=15102021
16. Dilation and Curettage (D&C): Treatment, Risks, Recovery. (2021, March). Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/4110-dilation-and-curettage-d–c
17. Lohr, Patricia A.  “Surgical Abortion in Second Trimester”, Reproductive Health Matters, May 2008, 156. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18772096.
18. D&E Abortion – Second Trimester. (Accessed October 2021). abortionprocedures.com. https://www.abortionprocedures.com/#1466802055946-992e6a14-9b1d.
19. Bartlett, L. A. (2004, April). Risk factors for legal induced abortion-related mortality in the United States. PubMed. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15051566/
20. Fergusson, David M with Joseph M. Boden and L. John Harwood. “Does abortion reduce the mental health risks of unwanted or unintended pregnancy? A re-appraisal of the evidence.” Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, Sept. 2013, Vol. 47, No. 9, pp. 819-827. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23553240 .
21. Darney, P.D., et al. “Digoxin to facilitate late second-trimester abortion: a randomized, masked, placebo-controlled trial.,” Obstetrics and Gynecology, Vol. 97, Issue 3, Mar.2001, pp. 471-476. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11239659 .
22. Induction Abortion – Third Trimester. (Accessed October 2021). abortionprocedures.com. https://www.abortionprocedures.com/induction/#1466802482689-777ef64c-4991.
23. Dolle, J. M. (2009, April 1). Risk Factors for Triple-Negative Breast Cancer in Women Under the Age of 45 Years. Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers & Prevention. https://cebp.aacrjournals.org/content/18/4/1157.full
24. Induction of fetal demise before abortion. (in press). Society of Family Planning. https://www.societyfp.org/_documents/resources/InductionofFetalDemise.pdf
25. L, W., T, P., & J, S. (1982, September 1). Significance of cervical Chlamydia trachomatis infection in postabortal pelvic inflammatory disease. Abstract – Europe PMC. https://europepmc.org/article/med/7121913
26. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease – CDC Fact Sheet. (1999). CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/std/pid/stdfact-pid.htm
27. STD Facts – Syphilis. (2017, June). CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/stdfact-syphilis.htm
28. About HIV/AIDS | HIV Basics | HIV/AIDS | CDC. (2021, June). CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/whatishiv.html
29. STD Facts – Human papillomavirus (HPV). (2021, January). CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm
30. L, W., T, P., & J, S. (1982, September 1). Significance of cervical Chlamydia trachomatis infection in postabortal pelvic inflammatory disease. Abstract – Europe PMC. https://europepmc.org/article/med/7121913
31. STD Facts – Chlamydia. (2014, January). CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/std/Chlamydia/stdfact-Chlamydia.htm
32. STD Facts – Gonorrhea. (2014, January). CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/stdfact-gonorrhea.htm

The importance of an ultrasound cannot be overstated. Beginning at six weeks of pregnancy, an ultrasound can detect the growing fetus. This allows healthcare professionals to determine whether or not a pregnancy will be viable (1). “In a normal pregnancy, the fertilized egg implants and develops in the uterus. In an ectopic pregnancy, the egg implants somewhere other than the uterus — often, in the fallopian tubes” (2). Ultrasounds in early pregnancy can save lives. Early detection alerts patients about potential ectopic pregnancies.

The womb is specially created to hold and nurture a growing fetus. If a fertilized egg implants somewhere other than the uterus, the female body cannot support it. As it grows, it will likely burst the organ containing it, endangering the mother’s life (2). Ectopic pregnancies will not grow or develop into a live birth (2). 

Signs and Symptoms of an Ectopic Pregnancy

An ectopic pregnancy will feel the same as a normal pregnancy, especially in the first trimester. Women will experience the typical symptoms of early pregnancy. This includes breast tenderness and a missed period, accompanied by a positive pregnancy test. From there, signs of ectopic pregnancy will become more obvious (3). Keep in mind, they are rare, occurring in only 11 out of every 1,000 pregnancies. If left untreated, though, these pregnancies can become dangerous (3). 

Women may experience light vaginal bleeding and pelvic pain. Symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy will vary depending on where the egg has implanted. If the fertilized egg attaches to a fallopian tube, it is called a tubal pregnancy. When the fertilized egg is growing in the fallopian tube, shoulder pain may accompany the need for a bowel movement (4). If the egg continues to grow in the fallopian tube, the pregnancy can end in a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. This medical emergency can cause heavy bleeding and light-headedness, along with fainting (4). 

Causes of an Ectopic Pregnancy

There are a few known risk factors that make an ectopic pregnancy more likely. Women who have had in vitro fertilization may have a higher risk of an ectopic pregnancy. Previous tubal pregnancies can also increase the chances of repeat ectopic pregnancies. Inflammation or infection in your tubes and other organs can also make this more likely. Tubal surgery and the use of intrauterine devices (IUDs) can increase the risk of an ectopic pregnancy. Smoking also raises the risk. Also, if a pelvic inflammatory disease is left untreated, scar tissue can prevent the fertilized egg from making its way through the fallopian tubes and into the uterus, causing a tubal pregnancy (5). 

 Diagnosing an Ectopic Pregnancy

To officially diagnose an ectopic pregnancy, doctors will run blood tests and an ultrasound. A transvaginal ultrasound enables doctors to use sound waves to locate the fertilized egg (6). An abdominal ultrasound will enable doctors to confirm your pregnancy or to check for internal bleeding (6).
A blood count will be done to check for anemia or blood loss. This will enable healthcare providers to confirm if you are experiencing internal bleeding. The count will also help doctors determine whether or not you need a blood transfusion (6). 

Treating an Ectopic Pregnancy

Medical treatments vary depending on when the ectopic pregnancy was detected. Doctors will also take your symptoms into account and discuss treatment options they think best suit your situation (6). 

Expectant Management

Doctors will recommend expectant management if your symptoms are mild. In this case, it is quite likely the pregnancy will miscarry by itself (6). With this treatment, you’ll have regular blood tests to ensure your hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) levels are going down. Vaginal bleeding and pain in your abdominal cavity can occur. Follow-up appointments will enable doctors to monitor the ectopic pregnancy. If symptoms worsen, you and your doctor may consider other treatment options (6). 

Methotrexate

Methotrexate is a drug used to stop a pregnancy from growing. This medication is a single injection, after which you can return home. Again, regular blood tests will ensure that treatment is working (6). It’s also important to use a reliable contraceptive for three months following the injection. Methotrexate can harm a baby if you become pregnant during this time (6).

Surgery

In surgery, a laparoscopic procedure is used. Your surgeon will make a small incision to insert a surgical instrument to permit the surgical procedure. These small cuts will enable doctors to remove the fertilized egg before it becomes too large. In some cases, the entire fallopian tube containing the pregnancy is removed. This is not thought to lessen your chances of becoming pregnant again (6). 

If your fallopian tube ruptures, you must have emergency surgery. This is to stop the bleeding and repair your ruptured fallopian tube.

Side Effects of an Ectopic Pregnancy

Healing from an ectopic pregnancy can look different depending on the treatment used. In many cases, side effects of ectopic pregnancy could continue for a few weeks following treatment (7). These side effects may include: 

• Pain in lower abdomen
• Bloating
• Extreme tiredness
• Vaginal bleeding
• Fertility issues
• High hCG levels, causing your body to still feel pregnant
• Psychological effects

If side effect symptoms worsen over time, contact your doctor. 

Healing from an Ectopic Pregnancy

Healing from ectopic pregnancies will differ from individual to individual. In some cases, depending on treatment, physical healing can take from four to six weeks (7). To help with physical recovery, stay away from heavy lifting. Avoid strenuous activity or running or walking long distances. Give your body a chance to physically heal from the pregnancy. 

Emotional healing will need to take place as well. Oftentimes, women can experience feelings of grief after an ectopic pregnancy. Post-traumatic stress, anxiety, and depression can result after treatment of an ectopic pregnancy (7). Support is available, whether through counseling, support groups, or personal self-care. The most important thing is to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself time for the recovery you need.

Common Myths about an Ectopic Pregnancy

As with anything, there are plenty of misconceptions about ectopic pregnancies. Plenty of evidence exists to debunk these myths. 

Myth #1: Medically, treating ectopic pregnancies is the same as abortion

The CDC defines abortion as a termination of a pregnancy within the uterus (8). Ectopic pregnancies occur outside of the uterus.

The abortion pill does not treat ectopic pregnancy. The FDA received reports of two deaths from ectopic pregnancy after mifepristone (abortion pill) use (9). The medication used for abortions is different than the medication used for the removal of ectopic pregnancies (9).

Myth #2: Morally, treating ectopic pregnancies is the same as abortion

Motives behind the removal of a pregnancy make a difference, especially when it comes to an issue of morality. The termination of an ectopic pregnancy is done to save a mother’s life. Without the removal, the fertilized egg would continue to grow and rupture the mother’s organs. Ectopic pregnancies are also not viable. There is not a chance that the fertilized egg could continue to grow and mature outside of the uterus (4).

In contrast, elective abortion is not necessary to save the life of a mother. Abortion is the removal of a live, healthy baby. 

 Myth #3: Legally, treating ectopic pregnancies is the same as abortion

Each state defines abortion, and each of these definitions exclude ectopic pregnancies. Each state makes exceptions to preserve the life of the mother (10). The removal of a deceased baby, or an unviable pregnancy, is not the same as the removal of a live, healthy baby.

Final Thoughts About Ectopic Pregnancies

Ultrasounds exist to help detect conditions such as ectopic pregnancies. Taking initiative and asking for an early ultrasound could save your life. If you are experiencing abdominal or pelvic pain and spotting, you may be experiencing one of the rare cases of an ectopic pregnancy. 

An early diagnosis will ensure the quickest and easiest recovery. Make your health a priority and schedule an early ultrasound.

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Sources

1. Horsager-Boehrer, Robyn. (2018, November 20). Patience is Key: Understanding the timing of early ultrasounds. UT Southwestern Medical Center. https://utswmed.org/medblog/patience-key-understanding-timing-early-ultrasounds/ 
2. Hirsch, Larissa. (n.d.) Ectopic Pregnancy. Kids Health. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/ectopic.html
3. Geburtshilfe Frauenheilkd. 2020 Jul; 80(7): 686–701. Published online 2020 Jul 14. doi: 10.1055/a-1181-8641
4. Mayo Clinic Staff. (2022, March 12). Ectopic Pregnancy. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ectopic-pregnancy/symptoms-causes/syc-20372088
5. Mayo Clinic Staff. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pelvic-inflammatory-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20352594 
6. NHS. (2022, August 23). Treatment, Ectopic Pregnancy. NHS. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ectopic-pregnancy/treatment/
7. Ectopic Pregnancy Trust. (n.d.) Physical Recovery. https://ectopic.org.uk/physical-recovery 
8. Center  for Disease Control and Prevention. (2021, November 22). CDCs Abortion Surveillance System FAQs. CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/data_stats/abortion.htm
9. Food and Drug Administration. (n.d.) Questions and Answers on Mifeprex. FDA. https://www.fda.gov/drugs/postmarket-drug-safety-information-patients-and-providers/questions-and-answers-mifeprex
10. Flanders, Nancy. (2022, June 28). FACT: Treatments for miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy are legal in every state. Live Action. 
    https://www.liveaction.org/news/treatments-miscarriage-ectopic-legal-state/